Creating a Life You Love

Designing your life in a way that feels true to you
10 minute read

Most people live a life they want to escape from. I know because I did too. I remember the season of counting down to Friday, wishing the weeks away, and holding out for the next holiday like it was a lifeline. I was ticking boxes, chasing milestones that were meant to matter, but every achievement left me underwhelmed and strangely hollow.

From the outside, it looked like success. Inside, it felt like wearing clothes cut for somebody else’s body. Too tight in some places, sagging in others. Nothing fit.

It wasn’t until I asked myself a deceptively simple question: Does this life fit me?

I really didn’t want to know the truthful answer to the question, because I knew hearing it would mean taking full responsibility for my choices. Still, the answer came, quietly but firmly.

You guessed it. The answer was … No. How I am living does not fit me.

No to the long hours that drained my creativity.

No to the endless yeses that left me resentful and exhausted.

No to the shiny goals that won applause but dulled my spirit.

And the moment I admitted that truth, something cracked open. The possibility of a life filled with service, abundance, joy, and fulfilment was real.

Of course, my first instinct was to scratch it all, toss it all out, start fresh. But I had to pause. Because creating a life you love doesn’t mean you burn everything down. It means you take the pieces in your hands, look at them honestly, and rearrange them until they feel like they belong to you. I had done it before and knew I could do it again, only this time on my terms.

Seeing Life Through a Different Lens

Designing your life in a way that feels true to you.

From the time we’re children, we are given a script. Go to school, get the job, buy the house, find the partner, have the children, retire. For some people, it works. For many of us, it feels like trying to squeeze into a mould that was never meant for us.

The truth is, life isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a patchwork quilt, stitched together with your experiences, mistakes, relationships, loves, and lessons. No one else’s life looks like yours, it doesn’t need to, nor does it need to be perfect to be beautiful.

When you see it this way, you stop asking, What should I be doing? and start asking, What feels right for me right now?

Choosing With Gentle Courage

Customising your life begins with small, honest choices.

Here’s the thing most people get wrong. Customising your life does not mean running away. It takes gentle courage, in small doses, every day.

I didn’t quit everything overnight. I stayed in roles that no longer inspired me, not because I was weak, but because I was building resources and resilience for what was to come next. I paid the bills, honoured my responsibilities, and kept showing up. But alongside the routine, I began planting small seeds of change.

Customising doesn’t always mean walking away. Sometimes it means reframing what you’re already doing. The job you don’t love might be funding the dream you haven’t yet launched. The season of caregiving might be growing a depth of compassion you’ll carry for life. Even the hard, inconvenient seasons are not wasted. They are shaping you quietly, preparing you for the person you are becoming.

The Power of Small, Soulful Shifts

Tiny changes, repeated consistently, slowly transform your life into one you love.

Think of your life like a room you want to enjoy being in, relaxing in again. You don’t always need to knock down the walls or throw everything out. You start small. You move a chair, clear the clutter. You open a window. You light a candle. And slowly, the space begins to feel like yours again, and you witness the little ripples of change that will spread further than you imagine.

Here are a few shifts that made all the difference for me:

Morning rituals: Tea before sunrise, journaling before the world intrudes, walking without headphones. These simple anchors remind you who you are before the day tells you who to be.

Energy boundaries: Saying no when an invitation feels heavy and yes when it feels nourishing. I know, sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to; however, when you can, protecting your energy is not selfish, it allows you to keep showing up where you are most needed.

Body rhythms: Noticing when you feel most alive. Maybe it is the stillness of dawn, or perhaps it is the hush of late evening. Honour the rhythms that help you thrive where you can.

Gratitude lists: Naming what’s good, even in ordinary moments. A soft blanket, a kind word, the way the light falls through the window. These small acknowledgements retrain your mind to keep reaching for joy.

It’s not about speed. It is about consistency. Small, soulful shifts accumulate until one day you wake up and realise you have built a life you no longer want to escape.

Remember You Are the Author

For years, I wore busyness like a badge of honour. “Sleep when I’m dead” was the mantra I lived by. Maybe you’ve lived that way too. But busyness is not purpose. Hustle is not fulfilment (I still love a good hustle; it just has a different meaning for me now.)

Living by design means remembering you are the author here. You do not have to live by default.

Ask yourself:

What gives me genuine energy?

Where am I still following a script that no longer fits?

How would it feel to build a life that honours what matters most to me, not what impresses others?

Your answers don’t need to come with fireworks. In fact, most likely, if you remain open and thoughtful your answers will come in quiet moments, aha moments that you will feel in your soul. You will make quiet adjustments, a small boundary, a new rhythm, a reimagined goal. Each one being a stitch in the quilt of the life you are creating.

Trusting the Season You Are In

Every life transition is part of your unfolding design.

There’s a phrase I live by: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do.

If you are in a season of showing up for things that don’t light you up, trust this: you’re not failing, you’re preparing. These are not detours. They are a necessary part of your life. Every step shapes you into the person capable of holding the life you are calling in.

I am constantly pivoting. Creating and customising is not something you do once. It’s an ongoing process of reflection, exploration, and honest conversations with yourself. You listen. You adjust. You listen again.

Gentle Ways to Begin

Practical steps to start customising your life today.

If you are ready to start creating a life you love, here is where to begin:

1. Name what no longer fits. Be honest. Write down what feels heavy, draining, or out of alignment. Naming it is your first act of freedom.
2. Identify what feels alive. Notice the moments that bring you energy and joy. These are clues.
3. Choose one small shift. Don’t wait for the perfect time. Start with one change this week, a boundary, a ritual, a new choice.
4. Reframe obligations. Instead of resisting them, ask how they support your bigger vision. Purpose changes how you carry responsibility.
5. Reflect often. What fits today might not fit tomorrow. Keep asking. Keep adjusting.

Creating a life you love is about how it feels, not how it looks.

Your life doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. It only needs to feel like yours.

Even in a season of obligations, you can weave in small acts of alignment that ripple outward. Every choice is a movement toward the life you are creating. Over time, the choices and experiences reveal themselves, just like a pattern on a quilt, and you begin to see the beauty of a life that is yours alone.

Take a quiet moment today. Ask yourself: Where am I living by default, and where am I living by design? Then take one small step toward creating a life you love.

As always, love yourself well. And remember, when you fall in love with yourself, everything else falls into place.

Ocea xx