Gratitude as a Way of Life

How appreciation shapes your life from the inside out
11 minute read

There’s a particular kind of reckoning that happens for many women in their forties and fifties. It’s quiet at first. A whisper beneath the routines, the roles, the expectations. You notice it while folding laundry or lying awake at two in the morning. A feeling that the life you’ve built is solid but no longer meaningfully aligned. I felt that whisper long before I admitted it to myself.

And then perimenopause arrived. Not gently. Not elegantly. It came with changes I didn’t feel prepared for. My body softened in places I hadn’t expected. My sleep was fractured. My patience thinned. The emotional landscape I once navigated confidently began shifting beneath my feet.

In the middle of it all, I felt the pull toward a different kind of work, a career shift that made no sense on paper but felt undeniable in my chest. It was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. I was in my early fifties. I had responsibilities. I had spent decades building a life that was supposed to be stable. And yet … something in me was asking for more.

Gratitude became the anchor I didn’t know I needed.

Not the polished kind you write in a journal once a week. But the gritty, moment-by-moment gratitude that steadies you when everything else feels uncertain.

The Body’s New Language

Perimenopause forced me to pay attention in ways I’d never had to before. My body spoke a different dialect. Some days, I woke feeling foggy. Some mornings, my heart raced for no apparent reason. My energy didn’t respond to motivation or discipline the way it once had. Gratitude helped me meet those changes without resentment.

On the mornings I woke at 3:14 a.m. again, I started whispering a small thank you for the stillness before the day. When heat surged through my body at inconvenient moments, I offered appreciation for the miracle of a system recalibrating itself. It wasn’t spiritual bypassing; it was tenderness.

Research has shown that gratitude can lower cortisol levels and support emotional regulation. I felt that truth directly. When I softened into appreciation, even for the uncomfortable moments, my nervous system began to settle. The frustration lost its bite. I didn’t feel at war with myself.

The Emotional Storm and the Quiet Shift

Perimenopause also stirred old emotions to the surface. Doubt. Fear. The old patterns of pushing through, fixing, striving. I questioned my worth. I questioned my timing. I questioned whether it was irresponsible to start over at this stage of life.

Gratitude didn’t remove the questions. It simply held me while I asked them.

I began naming three things each evening that supported me that day.

Some nights they were small:

a soft jumper

a kind message

a moment with my son

Other nights, they surprised me:

the courage to say no

the honesty to admit I was overwhelmed

the clarity that came after a good cry

These recognitions rewired something fundamental in me. Instead of obsessing over what was changing or uncertain, I began to notice what was stable, nourishing, and true. Gratitude widened my emotional field so I wasn’t swallowed by fear.

Shifting Careers in Midlife

The decision to shift careers in my early fifties wasn’t a single lightning strike. It was an accumulation. Years of listening to women share their exhaustion and longing. Years of watching myself push through seasons that needed gentler rhythms. Years of feeling a deeper calling whisper louder than my logic.

Still, choosing to step toward that new path felt raw. My mind played the greatest-hits list of doubts:

You’re too old to start again.

You should be settled by now.

What if you fail?

These moments of doubt made no sense to me, as I believe you can reinvent yourself at any age, it’s never too late, there is no one way to live a happy life, and failure – so what, if there is a lesson to learn, reflect on it, try again and move on. There was an internal struggle I wasn’t prepared for.

Gratitude became my counterbalance.

Gratitude, in its essence, became my counterbalance, allowing me to embrace the change with an open heart and a clear mind. It was a guiding light that helped me see this transition not as an ending, but as a beautiful beginning.

I also thanked the seasons that had brought me this far, the work that paid my bills, the responsibilities that built my resilience, and the years that taught me discipline. Gratitude allowed me to honour the old life while stepping into the new one without burning anything down.

Each small act of acknowledging what was working gave me the strength to hold what was changing.

A Daily Practice That Became a Way of Being

My gratitude practice isn’t glamorous. It isn’t elaborate. And while I do journal in seasons, my practice is woven into the ordinary.

In the shower each morning, I thank my body—even on days she feels foreign or unpredictable. I notice what is around me: the grand trees with falling leaves on autumn walks, flowers blossoming in the spring, and the chill of the winter breeze on my cheeks. These moments have all become moments of appreciation for me.

When doubt creeps in around my new path, I pause long enough to find one thing that is true and good in that moment. That single thread of appreciation settles my nervous system and makes the next step clearer.

And at night I ask myself one question:

What supported me today?

That question has carried me through the most disorienting moments of midlife. It has taught me that support is always present, even when life stretches us thin.

The Science and the Soul of Gratitude

Gratitude changes the brain. Studies show it strengthens pathways related to emotional regulation, stress recovery, and long-term wellbeing. But the lived experience is even more compelling. You begin to sense your life from the inside rather than evaluating it from the outside. You stop waiting for perfect circumstances and start absorbing the richness of what already is.

That shift is what allowed me to move through perimenopause with less fear and more grace. It’s what helped me recognise that changing careers in midlife wasn’t reckless; it was aligned. It’s what allowed me to meet my body’s changes not as an enemy but as a messenger.

Gratitude isn’t about looking for the bright side.

It’s about recognising the steadiness beneath the storm.

It’s about allowing yourself to feel held, even when you’re breaking open.

It’s about honouring every season, even the one that feels like an unravelling, because something important is reweaving itself inside you.

When gratitude becomes a way of life, you don’t need everything mapped out. You begin to feel supported in small, physical moments: the smile of a stranger, the softness of a sunset, the rise and fall of your own breath, reminding you that you are still here. These quiet sensations become anchors. They settle the noise. They make space for clarity.

You simply keep noticing what is quietly supporting you as you grow and evolve.

You soften. You expand. You return to yourself.

I genuinely believe that the quiet practice of gratitude is at the heart of creating a life you love. If you would like to explore this further, you can do so here.

Ocea xx